Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
