gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
