So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
