i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
