Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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