She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
