So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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