There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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