Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
