The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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