Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Two words: nipple clamps
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