Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
