question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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