she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
