Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
