Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize