I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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