I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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