I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.