I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
