and you said cock pushups were impossible
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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