I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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