I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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