I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
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One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
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I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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