hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
