But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
COCAINE IS GR8
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
