Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
