i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
