He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
