i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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