you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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