The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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