i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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