Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize