how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
