that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
soo... how was my night?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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