imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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