What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
