I think my fart just growled at me.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
