First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
