My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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