he puts the penis in happiness.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i just sent this text using only my big toe
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
