explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
