Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
