hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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