Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
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Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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