just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
