Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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