whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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