please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
