Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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