Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
being pregnant is like rehab
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
