I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
