Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
