Kiss
Puke
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
