I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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