Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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