Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
