Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
