considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Text me some of your sweat
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
