Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
