i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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