My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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