what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
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If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
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Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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