I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
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I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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