How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
