hell yes lets make some ravioli
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
