He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
