a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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