I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
