The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
